FOOD EVENTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Alton Brown Has No Time For These Kitchen Gadgets

You know how there’s an invention for everything these days because humans are getting lazier and lazier? I mean have you seen this Banana Slicer because apparently using a knife is not good enough and takes up too much time. While some of these kitchen “hacks” do make our lives easier, I can’t say the same for ALL of them, and neither can Alton Brown, Food Network personality, host of Good Eats and Cutthroat Kitchen.

He absolutely destroys these unitaskers – nothing as magical as an unicorn, they are tools that does ONLY ONE THING. And if you own any of these kitchen gadgets, throw them out. Just kidding, to each his own you know, it’s great if it works for you. And to be honest, I would totally give those meat shredders a go, it would be pretty badass to make some pulled pork tacos with them don’t you think? At the very least no one’s gonna insult my tacos. Seems like Alton Brown fancies them too, not for its intended purpose of shredding meat but for pretending to be wolverine. 

“Man up, grow a set, and use those things for everything.”

to the person who gave them a two-star review

That oddly sexual Rollie would be a hard pass, who actually wants a gadget with the aesthetic of pooping? Seriously??? Just goes to show that sometimes, things only look good on paper. Also, ain’t nobody got time to wait 17 mins for eggs that looks like a tube of… ahem. 

It’s such a pity that Alton Brown isn’t reviewing every kitchen gadget/fad food that comes out, it would be the greatest food channel ever. 

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